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Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in Théoredes' LiveJournal:

Sunday, September 8th, 2002
12:41 am
Apparently my mother is considering replacing me. Gee, mom. You're certainly loving.

Pop career is going well. Recieved letter from older brother specifying that if he saw me doing an imitation of what Theodwyn did on tv, he was going to come and lock me up himself. Damn siblings.

Current band members seem fine like that Erianthe girl. People send her fanmail. Why don't people send me fanmail? I HAVE BREASTS, DAMNIT. WORSHIP ME.

Went to library and discovered the fantasy section. Now living in heaven.
Monday, September 2nd, 2002
2:48 pm
Ick, I feel dust covered. FUCKING MUN. *kicks*


I joined a pop band. It's run by Melkor. I think I'm the only human in it. This means I am finally the tallest.

This fills me joy.

Oh, I died a bit back it seems. But as I've always said, we don't need no steekin' forsm. A few weeks with a spoon and that loose piece near the gates bought me freedom. I don't trust the forms. The last time I filled one out, they dragged me back anyway.

*fluffs hair* A pop band. Mother would be so proud. Or she'd disown me. It's a fifty/fifty kind of deal.
Monday, July 22nd, 2002
2:31 am
It got my apprentice.

It got his wife and little mouth too.

Then it got me.

And I died, again.

At least it wasn't a horse this time.

*rubs hands together*

What POTENTIAL this place has....

*goes off in search of her apprentice*
Wednesday, June 26th, 2002
3:32 am
I bet you've been wondering where your lovely Elrohir has been, haven't you?

Actually, you probably weren't.


He has been with me. Taking evil lessons. We are hiding in a nice cave. Tolman is with us. He is very adept in the art of evil drooling.

Any case, we're currently on kitten eating for beginners. Elrohir's a quick pick-up. We'll have a new dark lord very soon, maybe.


Ick. There's dirt on my pants. TOLMAN! I must teach you how to do EVIL laundry.
Wednesday, June 12th, 2002
12:12 pm
I suspect I may possibly be sane.
In the beginning, there was the Family. There were two older sisters, one of which was dead when the Girl was 5 and the other which disappeared without a trace in the land of Eogond. There was the Boy who was older then the Girl and the OtherGirl, who was younger then the Girl.

The Girl had very little attention paid to her. Which was good. The Boy was always being sent to sword lessons and riding lessons and was slightly braindamaged to that end. The OtherGirl was a seething ball of rage because of the constant talk of 'marrying her off once we file those fangs down'.

The Girl played with dolls a lot. And daydreamed. And was very good at constructing worlds to play in. The Boy tended to take out his bad moods over his responsibilities on her and would destroy some of her dolls. The OtherGirl would also destroy them (usually by eating them) out of boredom.

Then one day The Girl got kicked in the head by a horse and died.

I need a better life story, I really do.

My older sisters have returned. My brother younger sister haven't actually changed that much. My mother and father are the same too.

Which is good. I liked those two.

But you think Theoden and Theodwyn would have the decency to regret being such little shits to me, wouldn't you?

I almost got revenge on him earlier. I was going to make him eat dirt or something, like he always did to me. Then my niece set some dogs on him. By Bema's horse buggering ways, that girl has a definite screw loose. Now I know why my nephews always look so terrified.

I think I want to head back to Edoras now to try and coax Hama out of the closet (and give him the memo. It's in my pocket!)...except if I want to get their quickly, I'll need a horse.

I really seriously don't want to ride a horse.

Horses bad.

They hurt

Current Mood: considering
Monday, May 20th, 2002
9:57 pm
Well, they sent me back to Gamgeehall. Mostly because I asked really nicely and then pointed out my sister signs their paychecks. While holding a sword.

There's a new girl here! She's cute and apparently Bilbo was mean to her.

As such, Bilbo is now on apprentice probation while I play with my new friend.

Friday, May 3rd, 2002
7:57 pm
(This was written by someone else)

A dragon looks back at me from the reflecting pool. I am horrible teeth and reptilian eyes. People tremble when they see me. I laugh so deeply, I burn a whole village to smoldering cinder. "Rawr! Fear me." I hide in the body of a little girl so as not to drive you insane with my great terribleness.

I am a princess with long hair that I tie in the fierce battle braids of a shield-maiden. The secret sword for my father the king, I am the most feared dragon slayer of the age. Court me, love me, and fear me. I am unconquerable. "Ah yah! Feel the lightning strike of my mighty sword." It is a branch far more crooked than sharp, but looks are deceiving. This is a sword enchanted to look like a branch. My enemies will never see it coming at their throats.

I am the court baker and there is a grand feast today. A shield-woman has returned with the head of a dragon. I must bake the perfect pastry to satisfy the Queen and her children. A little mud, a few pebbles, and some leaves - voila! Bakers in other kingdoms weep and proclaim me master. The Queen thanks me on bended knee.

I am the Queen of the castle and everyone loves me. I am graceful as I sway a waltz with this prince disguised as a coat rack. The elves respect me and write long haunting songs about me. The dwarves fear me, and pay me tithe in precious mithril. See these river rocks? They are actually expensive gems from my husband the king. I sew them into my children's clothes because I am such a wonderful mother.

I am Theoredes, the middlest child of siblings who ignored me. I am not as powerful as a dragon, nor brave as a shield-woman. I haven't the skills of a baker, and I'll never be a queen. No one notices me. No one writes songs for me, or rescues me from danger or houses full of hobbits. No one will ever pretend to be me.

Today I am a dragon. "Rawr! Fear me and tremble."

5:19 pm
*dons a crown of leaves*

I have left my forest castle with a entourage of loyal hobbits.

The immortal Queen Theoredes must continue her mission.

She is a great and terrible queen, loved and feared. She is also compassionate and will not use her awesome power to destroy this world.

Actually... *tosses crown to the side*

I want some candy.

*runs off*
Tuesday, April 30th, 2002
1:28 am


I'm Théoredes.

I'm going to sit here very quietly until someone comes for me.

I'd like a hug when they come.

Current Mood: optimistic
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